


It's Not Your Fault: A Story of SpongeBob's Battle with Depression

by Sandersedge



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:22:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27011194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandersedge/pseuds/Sandersedge
Summary: SpongeBob has battled mental illness for a long time. Once Squidward finds out he does everything he can to help his neighbour get the help he needs.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. SpongeBob's Emotional Pain

**Author's Note:**

> I know many of us suffer from depression and other mental health issues. This story is here to explain that even the happiest of people, at least on the surface, can be inflicted with these horrible illnesses. 
> 
> Please, if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide know that there is help available. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to be connected with someone.

SpongeBob sat alone on his bed, tears streaming down his face. He was sad, sadder than he ever remembered being before. He was nearing his breaking point and he didn’t know what to do. 

He hurt, badly, but it wasn’t physical pain, it was emotional. All of his life choices felt like they were crushing them with their weight. He just wanted it to all go away, but his mind picked apart every single little thing making him feel worse and worse. 

“Meow?” Gary came to see if his owner was alright.

“Go away Gary!” SpongeBob shouted through his sobs. 

“Meow?” the snail asked again.

“I said leave me alone!” SpongeBob screamed and threw a book at the snail. 

Gary started to cry and slid away out of SpongeBob’s room. He didn’t know what was wrong with his owner, but it was clearly something serious. While his owner could get mad from time to time he’d never seen him this upset. 

SpongeBob continued to sit on his bed, holding his knees close to his chest. He was a crier, that was true, but he’d shed more tears this afternoon than he ever remembered doing. He just couldn’t process what was going on. 

His neighbour, Squidward, overheard the sponge’s whaling and peeked out his window. He could see into SpongeBob’s room and saw him lying there, curled up into a little ball, sobbing away. 

“Hmmm, I wonder if I should go over there?” Squidward said out loud. “Or maybe I just shouldn’t get involved.” 

Squidward went back to his book, but the faint sound of his neighbours crying started to nag at him. With a sigh he stood up and made his way over to the pineapple and knocked on the door. 

No one answered, so he knocked again. Still no answer, so he tried one more time, getting a little worried at what was going on. It wasn’t like SpongeBob to ignore someone knocking at his door. The little sponge typically would race to greet anyone who came anywhere near his house. 

“SpongeBob?” Squidward yelled out. “Are you home? I know you’re home.” 

He heard some noise and eventually the door opened a crack. 

“Squidward?” SpongeBob said, his voice raspy. “What do you need?”

“Is everything ok SpongeBob?” Squidward asked, not able to see his neighbour through the crack in the door. 

“Oh sorry, did my crying interrupt you?” SpongeBob said, sounding completely dejected. “I didn’t mean to, I’ll keep it down.” 

SpongeBob shut the door. There was something seriously wrong so Squidward tried to push it open. Thankfully, it wasn’t locked so he made his way inside. There he saw SpongeBob curled up on the floor sobbing his little eyes out. 

“SpongeBob?” Squidward asked looking down at the sponge. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but something is clearly wrong.”

There wasn’t an answer, just more sobbing coming from his balled up neighbor. 

Squidward kneeled down beside SpongeBob and placed a hand on his arm. For once, the octopus actually felt sorry for his neighbour. Sure SpongeBob could be downright annoying, but that didn’t mean on some level he didn’t care for him as a friend. 

SpongeBob flattened himself out and stood up. This is when Squidward finally got a good look at SpongeBob. His eyes were read and puffy and his expression was devoid of any joy. He looked like an absolute mess. 

Without saying a word, SpongeBob buried his head into his neighbour's chest and began to cry again. Squidward didn’t know what to do, so he wrapped two tentacles around the sobbing sponge and gave him a squeeze. 

This seemed to calm SpongeBob down a little bit and he finally spoke. 

“Thank you Squidward,” SpongeBob said with a sniffle. “You’re a good friend.” 

“Come on SpongeBob,” Squidward said standing up off the floor. “Let’s sit down and you can tell me what’s wrong. I’ll help you however I can.”

“You mean that?” he replied. 

“Yes SpongeBob,” Squidward said calmly. “Look, you’re annoying and everything, but I still care and I don’t like seeing you like this.” 

The two neighbours sat down on the couch in the living room. SpongeBob stared off into the distances trying to figure out how to string the words together to tell Squidward what was going on. 

“So Squidward,” SpongeBob began. “Do you ever just feel sad and that your mind is reminding you of everything that’s ever gone wrong?”

“Yes,” Squidward replied. 

“So I feel like that,” SponeBob continued. “Everything I’ve ever done wrong from when I was just a little sponge to today is just flooding my mind. I feel so worthless and sad. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I hate myself.”

Squidward couldn’t think of anything to say so he just put a tentacle around SpongeBob. His neighbour didn’t seem to mind and curled up next to him on the couch. Within a matter of seconds, Squidward heard SpongeBob sleeping softly. 

“Well this isn’t how I wanted to spend my night,” Squidward said to himself. But he felt wrong leaving SpongeBob, especially after he’d drifted off to sleep so quickly. So he fumbled around for the remote and flipped on the TV.


	2. One Horrible Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains a suicide attempt.

Squidward woke with a jolt the following morning. He didn’t know where he was, but it clearly wasn’t his bed. He then looked down to see SpongeBob, still sleeping peacefully, next to him. The events of the previous night came flooding back to him and all the pieces fell into place. 

He looked around to see what time it was. 

“Oh fish paste!” Squidward said out loud. “I’m late for work!” 

SpongeBob awoke upon hearing his neighbour. He looked around trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Squidward?” SpongeBob asked, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you here? What’s going on?”

“You had quite a night SpongeBob,” Squidward started. “You were very upset and I tried to calm you down. You eventually fell asleep next to me and I must have dozed off too. But, hey, we’re late for work.”

“Oh my gosh!” SpongeBob said springing up. “We need to get ready, Mr. Krabs is counting on us!” 

“Once you’re ready,” Squidward started. “Just wait outside and I’ll walk with you to the Krusty Krab.”

The two neighbors went to get ready as quickly as they could. And just like Squidward promised, the two walked to work together. 

Squidward thought it was odd with how different SpongeBob was today than he was last night. He figured that his neighbour was just having an off day or something and his little act of kindness had made it all better. 

The two spent a rather uneventful day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob seemed completely normal and didn’t miss a beat as he flipped the patties to feed the hungry customers of Bikini Bottom. He even started to be annoying again, meaning he was definitely acting normal. 

Once their shift ended, the two neighbors walked back to their houses together. Upon arriving Squidward looked over at SpongeBob wondering what if he needed him again tonight. 

“Are you going to be ok SpongeBob?” Squidward asked. 

“Of course!” he said with joy in his voice. 

“Alright, just give me a call if you need something?” Squidward replied, sort of regretting saying that since he knew how SpongeBob operated. 

They bid each other goodnight and Squidward made his way to his house. 

The night went along with as so much of a peep from SpongeBob. Squidward made his dinner and then sat down to read his book. However, he started to have a nagging feeling that he should at least go check on his neighbour. Something didn’t feel right and while he probably was just overreacting, he’d feel too guilty if he ignored SpongeBob and there was something wrong. 

He made his way over to the pineapple and knocked on the door. There was no answer. So he knocked in again and then put his head up to the door to see if he could hear anything. Not even a footstep could be heard. 

Squidward tried the door handle, it was unlocked so he let himself in. The entire pineapple was dark. He tiptoed around the main level and there was no sign of his neighbor. He then made his way up the stairs and peaked inside SpongeBob’s room. 

What lay before him was a horrific sight. SpongeBob laid motionless on the floor, his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Surrounding him was two bottles of pills, spilled all over the floor. 

“SpongeBob!” Squidward screamed running over to the sponge. “SpongeBob wake up!” 

He shook SpongeBob violently trying to get him to open his eyes. He looked around the room and saw Gary curled up in the corner crying. 

“Gary?” Squidward said. “What happened?”

“Meow, meow, mew, meow, mew,” Gary said. 

“Oh Neptune!,” Squidward screamed. “He took all those pills? Holy fish sticks! He needs a doctor!” 

Squidward grabbed the shell phone and dialed 9-1-1. He told the operator on the other end what had happened and stayed on the line until he heard the ambulance pull up a few minutes later. 

Two paramedics rushed in and put SpongeBob on a stretcher. They hooked up some oxygen and tried to get a response from the lifeless sponge.

“Is he going to be ok?” Squidward said with tears in his eye.

“He has vitals but they’re weak,” one of the paramedic fish said. “We need to get him to the hospital!” 

Squidward followed them down the stairs and asked to ride along in the ambulance. As they sped towards the hospital Squidward tried to pull himself together but all he could do was relive the scene over and over again. 

The paramedics worked frantically on SpongeBob. He was clinging to life but only just.


	3. SpongeBob, Please Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpongeBob is in a coma and Squidward doesn't know if he'll ever wake up, but that doesn't it stop him from staying by this friend's side.

It had been three days since arriving at the hospital and Squidward had barely left SpongeBob’s side. He felt guilty that he didn’t stay there with his metally ill friend that night. If he had, he could've stopped SpongeBob from trying to take his own life. 

Squidward had cried more than he’d ever have and even offered up prayer to the mighty Neptune to save his friend. He didn’t know if they’d work, but in a time like this he was willing to try anything. 

SpongeBob was in a coma, but otherwise his vital signs were mostly fine. He’d taken more than two dozen pills, enough to take down a blue whale the doctor had said. Thankfully, Squidward had found SpongeBob in time and if he’d been even five minutes later, the outcome could’ve been vastly different. 

Squidward just wanted his friend to wake up, but the doctors had told him he may never come out of the coma. And even if he did manage to wake up, there was a good chance he could have lifelong, debilitating effects. 

Days quickly turned to weeks and weeks quickly turned to months. While Squidward wanted to stay by SpongeBob’s side, he knew he needed to get back to work. Still everyday he’d stop by the hospital before going home to check on his friend. Some nights he’d even sleep there hoping SpongeBob’s piecing voice would wake him up in the middle of the night. 

Margaret and Harold SquarePants were both grateful for all the love and support Squidward was giving them and to their son. They’d always assumed he was a grump who hated SpongeBob, but they could now see just how wrong they were. 

Finally, on day 72, SpongeBob’s eyes opened. He was confused, all he saw was blinding white lights and a faint beeping somewhere next to him. The sponge tried to look around but his whole body hurt, stiff from weeks of disuse. 

“Hello,” he finally croaked out. “Anyone here?”

Squidward just happened to be there when he heard the voice. He quickly jumped up and shouted out the door for a nurse. He then ran over to SpongeBob, tears forming in his eyes as he was overjoyed that SpongeBob had finally woke up. 

“Oh thank you Neptune,” Squidward sobbed looking at his friend. “You’re awake! I can’t believe it but you’re awake!” 

“How...how long have I been asleep?” SpongeBob asked softly “Am I late for work again?”

“SpongeBob,” Squidward began. “Do you remember anything that happened?”

“Not really,” he replied. 

Before Squidward could explain three nurses and a doctor barged in the room. They quickly checked over SpongeBob and started immediately doing tests to see what, if any, level of functionality he had. 

While the team worked on SpongeBob, another nurse pulled Squidward aside. 

“I know you want to talk to your friend,” she began. “But you’ll need to ease him into what happened. We’re not sure how he’s going to take the news. We can have a therapist come in and tell explain to Mr. SquarePant exactly what happened if you would like.”

“No I want to tell him,” Squidward said. “But I think having a therapist come in while I tell him would be good. I’m not expert on what to do, I just feel like I should be the one to talk to him.”

“That sounds good sweetie,” the nurse replied. “I’ll go get him paged.”

Several minutes later a jovial looking fish appeared out in the hallway. 

“Mr?” the fish asked Squidward.

“Tentacles,” Squidward replied. “Squidward Tentacles, I’m one of SpongeBob’s friends.”

“Ah yes, Mr. Tentacles,” the fish said. “I see in Mr. SquarePants chart you’ve been here with him on and off for weeks. He must mean quite a bit to you. I’m Dr. Mackerel.” 

“He does,” Squidward said with a smile. He never really thought SpongeBob meant anything to him until the events of the past few months. 

The two men entered SpongeBob’s room and sat down next to his bed. 

“Hi Squidward,” SpongeBob said. “Who are you?”

“This is Dr. Mackerel,” Squidward indicated to the fish sitting next to him. “We’re here to tell you everything that happened.” 

Squidward told SpongeBob the story, starting with the night he’d fallen asleep with him on the couch. He then explained to him how the following day went, how he found him on the floor, and how the past 10 weeks had gone.

“Thank you Squidward,” was all SpongeBob could say through his tears. “I’m so sorry I put you through that.” 

“SpongeBob,” Squidward replied. “No need to apologize. What’s important is that you’re here and we’re going to get you some help. You’ll be back to flipping those Krabby Patties before you know it!” 

“Ok Mr. Squidward,” Dr. Mackerel said. “Why don’t you head home while I finish up here with Mr. SquarePants?”

Squidward gave his friend a hug and headed home. It was the first time in weeks he felt a sense of relief. He knew things were going to be difficult for the sponge going forward, but at least he was alive.


	4. Goodbye SpongeBob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains suicide

It’d been weeks since SpongeBob had awoken from his lengthy coma. He was nearly back to normal, but had suffered from some last effects of his overdose. He needed a cane to walk, his memory wasn’t as sharp as it used to be, and the heavy dose of drugs had mellowed out his upbeat personality. 

Squidward had grown closer to SpongeBob over the weeks too. He was always there to help and kept reminding his neighbour that anything he needed, he was just a phone call away. 

Every day SpongeBob seemed to improve little by little. Squidward would even drive SpongeBob to every appointment to make sure he was getting all the help he needed for his mental illness. 

Unfortunately, try as Squidward might, it didn’t see to be enough. 

It was a Tuesday and SpongeBob hadn’t shown up to work yet. Mr. Krabs was worried because it wasn’t like SpongeBob to blow off work, especially without a phone call. Both Mr. Krabs and Squidward knew SpongeBob was on heavy medication that could sometimes make him oversleep, so they figured he’d just slept through his alarm. 

And hour into what was supposed to be SpongeBob’s shift, Mr. Krabs closed up the Krusty Krab and went with Squidward to the pineapple. This was completely uncharacteristic of Mr. Krabs too, anyone that knew him knew he wouldn’t close for any reason. But like Squidward, the crab was just as concerned for his friend. 

The two men didn’t say much as they made their way to the house. Once there Squidward knocked on the door. After that didn’t get a response Mr. Krabs then knocked even louder. They then tried both beating on the door as hard they could as they screamed for SpongeBob. Still nothing by silence. 

“Alrighty, I’m breaking down the door,” Mr. Krabs said and slammed into. The door splintered and revealed a dark and empty living room. There was no sign of SpongeBob or even Gary. They searched the house looking for any signs of its occupant. They made their way upstairs and the second level was empty too.

“Where do you think he’s gone?” Squidward asked. 

“I don’t know,” Mr. Krabs replied, scratching his head. “But I got a bad feeling about this. Let’s check the lad’s bedroom.” 

The two men opened the door and both broke down in tears. There lying on the floor was SpongeBob, his lifeless arms still holding his pet snail. Beside his sat an empty pill bottle and over his head was a fish bowl devoid of water. 

“Meow,” Gary cried when he saw the two standing in the doorway. 

“The boy looks so peaceful,” Mr. Krabs said through sobs and reached down to pick up Gary who’d not slid over to the pair. 

“Look, there’s a note,” Squidward said as he walked over to read it. 

_To Whoever Finds Me (probably you Squiddy),_

_I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore. The crushing sadness has now been replaced with nothingness thanks to these pills. The doctor calls them happy pills but they’re not happy pills, their make-SpongeBob-dull-pills. Life without joy is meaningless to me._

_I want to thank Squidward for everything he’s done. I always thought he hated me but it’s clear he really did love me and I loved him. He, along with Patrick, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs are the bestest friends a sponge could have asked for._

_Please tell my parents how much I love them and that I will miss them. I know it will be hard on them so please take care of them the best you can._

_As for Gary. Give him a hug and tell him daddy loves him. Make sure he goes to a loving home who will love him forever and ever._

_Also, it’s not anyone’s fault. You all did all you could for me, don’t hate yourself._

_With all my love,  
SpongeBob SquarePants_

As Squidward finished reading the note out loud, he crumpled into a heap on the floor. Distraught with sorrow he cried and cried until he had no more tears left. He was angry at SpongeBob and felt guilty that he wasn’t there to stop him this time. 

“Aye Squidward,” Mr. Krabs said. “Like the boy say, it’s not yer fault. You showed him what a good friend ya were.” 

“I know Eugene,” Squidward said through his tears. “I just miss the little sponge so damn much.” 

Squidward beat his tentacles on the floor in frustration. This just wasn’t fair.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after that fateful afternoon.

It was a month after the funeral. SpongeBob had been buried with his prize spatula, a Kraby Patty, and a picture of all his friends. The entire town of Bikini Bottom had shown up to the funeral too and there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd. 

To honour the late SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs had made a new Krabby Patty called the KrabbyBob and he used all the profits he made from it to open up a new mental health center in Bikini Bottom. The Patties, of course, didn’t taste quite the same without the world’s best fry cook making them, but thousands were still sold every day. 

Patrick was lost without his friend and couldn’t comprehend what had happened. He knew SpongeBob was gone, but he’d still ask when he was coming back. It broke the heart of whoever had to explain to him that SpongeBob was never coming back.   
Sandy moved out of Bikini Bottom and back home. She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing that empty pineapple down the road every day. It brought her too much sorrow knowing that her little yellow friend would never again barge into her Tree Dome. 

As for Squidward, he quit his job at the Krusty Krab. It just wasn’t the same without SpongeBob there to annoy him any chance he got. To help him heal though, he ended up taking a job at the new mental health center sponsored by Mr. Krabs. He made it his life’s mission to help anyone that was battling depression. 

Squidward had also decided to adopt Gary, who became his best friend. The little snail would join Squidward at work every day and act as a therapy snail for patients. Then once they returned home, they both would sit together and mourn the loss of their dearest friends.


End file.
